clumsyelf1: (Default)
About two weeks ago my dad passed away after a two year+ battle with cancer. That last night I saw him was our birthday, the night before he died. (And hell, I just broke down while writing this. Had to take like a five minute brake.) He was so weak, he didn't seem like him self at all. I could hardly recognize him. He couldn't move hardly at all, couldn't talk, couldn't even write. Every thing he wrote just looked like chicken scratch. Even then with how weak he was I still held hope that he would make it out of it alive. I told him when I walked into his room that night "Your fifty nine! And your gonna make it to sixty!" Well I was wrong, he barely made it to the next morning. What has kept me going this past week or so was the video I have been making for his memorial. And this entire time I have kept thinking what is wrong with me, cause the only time I had really cried, besides just now, was right after I was told. Even then it wasn't long and then I was finding ways to laugh. I have been bottling it up the entire time. I guess I really needed this, some therapeutic writing to get it all out. My god!! I miss him so much!!!! I want my dad back!! I can't stop crying.
I feel like Drew from Elizabethtown, it took me about the same amount of time to start crying. And it was also during the preparation of my Dad's Memorial. My Dad was also cremated just like Drew's Dad was.


clumsyelf1: (Default)

January 2017

15 161718192021


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 05:30 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios